Kill the jargon and surprise yourself with how you answer this question: who are you and what do you care about?

Two weeks ago, I moved out of NYC and settled in a house in Nyack. After 25 years in the city - in apartments across Manhattan and Brooklyn - I now have a backyard, a front porch, sunflowers, and a basement.

A few years ago, I fainted during a mammogram. I woke up in a wheelchair with nurses and smelling salts in my face… I learned something important that day: Saying “just relax” in the face of stress is not an effective strategy for me.

A script promises “safety” in front of an audience - it’s gives your hands something to hold onto, it gives you a “safe place” for your eyes to focus. But most of all it promises to save you from losing your train of thought - or worst of all - going completely blank.

Brave Speaking Rule #5: Believe that self-compassion will make you better 

Last year I was hired to teach a confidence and public speaking class to a group of 20 employees over Zoom. After the initial thrill, I set up shop in my 18 shades of panic.

I’ve talked with several women over the past two weeks - all very accomplished in their careers and happy in their jobs – who are experiencing the same issue: the moment they start talking about their work in front of a camera or in an interview-type situation, things get really, really dull.

I’m late to the Mel Robbins party and her incredible 5-second rule, but I’ve totally fallen in love with it.

In high school, I considered poison to avoid a debate. Literally, I asked my mom for a 24-hour poison (which she declined). Twenty years later as an Senior VP, I begged colleagues to give my talks. Yes, it was embarrassing, but the alternative seemed even worse.

Just the idea of speaking to an audience kicks off a chain of reactions:

1. My arms feel heavy and useless – they’re at a loss for what to do.

2. My body is gone. Where did it go?

3. I find myself – I’m entirely in my throat.

4. I am speaking but not breathing – then breathing but not speaking.

The thing that changed everything for me was a public speaking go-bag. The goal is to get your go-bag intros and stories “on-tap.”

I like to record voice memos in the morning. Like journaling - without the writing. But I get annoyed by how choppy and hesitant I can sound. This morning – 6am, post-meditation and super loose – I tried something different.

This challenge takes aim at an obstacle that gets in the way of living boldly: The fear of being judged