“Just Relax” doesn’t work

A few years ago, I fainted during a mammogram. I woke up in a wheelchair with nurses and smelling salts in my face.

What I remembered was standing still in the center of the room, trying to relax, obedientIy holding the plexiglass handles of the apparatus: let them do their thing and it will be ok.

Be still. Quiet. Disappear.

I learned something important that day: Saying “just relax” in the face of stress is not an effective strategy for me.

In fact, true relaxing looks more like its opposite: flexing muscles, squeezing fists and breathing deeply. Feeling powerful - empowered in my whole self - is much more calming for me.

Last week, I asked you what animal you feel like when you’re in front of an audience. I encouraged you to explore being more like a lion. More powerfully alive than passively quiet.

Did that seem aggressive? Lions are terrifying - especially if you are prey.

But let’s step away from that angle. Instead, look through the eyes of a lion as she surveys the land, the movement and colors around her. She is not in the throes of an attack, she is walking slowly, watching, confident in her power. In her belonging.

This kind of power - aliveness and flexion - deserves a place in our toolkit.